LandOfMakeBelieve

more than a year has passed.

2008-10-03T20:01:00.000-07:00

mahigit isang taon na pala. andaming nangyari. nakakapagod isa isahin. as if naman may pakialam kayo. haha. pero for the sake of archiving, walang wenta na yang mga entries sa baba. tapos na ang saga na yun sa buhay ko. matagal na ring nagsimula ang isa pang saga na sa tingin ko naman ay huli na :) ngets ba? masaya ako ngayon. pinapasaya niya ako ng sobra sobra. :)

wtf

2007-09-25T07:24:00.000-07:00

wtf.nagkabaliktad bigla.
pero hindi ibig sabihin na ganun na yun.

kala mo ah. di ganun yun. di basta basta na lang na ganun yun.
di kame papayag. wtf.
wag ka na feeling, miss. :)

kala mo ah.kaw nagpasimula nito--nung pinamukha mo sakin yun.
o kitams.ipapamukha ko rin sayo. >:)

bala na.sori na lang.kupal daw ako sabi nila eh.harhar.pasensyahan.pamukhaan.
tae.

mahaba pa oras.di naman kasi nagmamadali.ohwell.yaan na magkamali.pero wag mo isipin na ganun na yun ha.

ha? HA?! :p

hate stage.

2007-09-16T21:02:00.002-07:00

i'm sorry for everything i am not.

i'm SORRY because..

i am so not girly. i am anything but kikay. i don't put stuff on my face, i don't wear skirts, sleeveless tops and high-heels. my hair is almost always in a ponytail. i don't even put powder on my face. i don't carry a mirror in my bag. but i always carry a comb because of my hair that never listens to me. i don't go to salons and spas except to have a haircut. i only wear shirts, jeans, sneakers/slippers. i don't wear any fancy jewelry. i hate getting dressed up for formal events. i'm not used to heels so i always take them off.

the few times i wear nailpolish, they always get chipped. i always have to have two pairs of school shoes because one pair doesn't last a year on me. masyado daw malikot.

i like to pig out. i don't bite burgers. i eat a lot when i'm mad and i'm not ashamed to eat in front of guys. i like to sit indian-style. i even play computer games. i sit indian-style when i'm in front of the computer. i'm not maarte when it comes to eating utensils. i can share a single fork/spoon/glass with ten other girls/guys.

i trashtalk a lot. in normal conversations, dota games, etc. i curse like a guy, someone told me. mahulig manuntok, mahilig mambatok, mahilig manapak. on rare occasions, i even eat more than guys eat. people tell me their problems, they cry to me and i cry to them.

uh-huh i cry.i like to make jokes, i like making people laugh and i am crazy most of the time. kalog. some people even joke that i am "one of the guys".

siguro. but i am also such a girl when it comes to some things.

i cry. i blush. i flirt (come on, everyone does. >:) )
i read magazines, i blog, i write stories. i talk on the phone and i never let go of my cellphone. and like all girls, i actually care about my weight but i just can't stop myself from eating when i'm angry.haha. i admire good outfits. it actually feels weird when i see a gay guy who looks and acts more girly than me. haha! i also really like earrings, and in fact i collect them.

and i love. and i get hurt. and i hate. but the bottom line is.. even though i don't show it, i really am such a girl (as my "twin" said). yes, i fall in love but only once in a purple moon streaked with neon blue lights. haha. now you have an idea on how rare i fall. but when i fall, i fall HARD.

i am not some prissy, kikay, girly damsel in distress. but that doesn't mean i'm not waiting for someone to come for me. coz i am.

haaay.pamilya.

2007-04-23T04:20:00.000-07:00

haaay.whatever i say is wrong.diba?ganun naman palagi.
kahit anu pang sabihin ko, iba ang mangyayari. kasi hindi ako ang nasusunod. don't you realize that i've sacrificed waaaay too much para lang sa inyo? kasi gusto ko kayo maging masaya.

and i AM happy tuwing nandito ako.but sometimes, it's not enough.i'm sorry. sometimes.. ewan. selfish na kung selfish.. but sometimes, i think you also have to take time to think about me. about what it feels to be in my situation. kasi kayo yung nasa isang side. sila naman yung nasa isa pang side. ako naman yung pabalik balik.

at ganito yun. kahit saan akong side pumunta, parating may maiiwan, parating may magfifeel bad, at parating ako ang sinisisi.

:(

after a while..

2007-03-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

we had our exams today.our final exams.we're officially done with academics.but graduation is still on april 27.and a lot of things can still happen before that fateful day.

i can't believe i'm going to be a college student in a few months.this whole week has been about reminiscing and stuff.sure, i know we'll still be friends in college, but things are going to change. we won't see each other everyday, and some won't be studying in UPLB. a gap may form. but i know the memories will keep our ties strong. iba daw talaga kasi ang high school eh.

when i started high school, i knew it was gonna be an adventure. and when it ended, here i am: a completely different person. i changed a lot. i used to be ms.innocent. and now i'm like.. ms.bad girl. cutting classes when i feel like it, cursing became a habit, coming home late, and the likes. a lot of things have happened, and a lot of changes took place.

in just a span of four freaking years.

i was able to make friends, and lose them, and get them back. i was able to bring down someone. i was able to have fun, to face consequences, and i rebelled even more. BASTA. i even fell for someone i never expected i would.. and not just fall. i fell hard.

college?yea, i guess i AM looking forward to it. though i'm also dreading it at the same time.i'll miss this.. i'll miss high school.

but then.. college is just another big adventure.

cutting class

2006-12-12T20:30:00.000-08:00

every monday, we have statistics from 1.00-4.00. well, good luck na lang samin.how we manage to survive that? i have no idea. all i know is this: yesterday, after the first hour and a half of stat, we were given a 10-minute break. and five of us? well.

we cut class.

meaning?we didn't go back.we just stayed in the canteen, eating pancit canton.hence the name "Cantoners". and we had fun. we talked about a lot of "things". ahaha. you get the idea!*wink*

grabe.this year, senior year, is turning out to be so eventful.sobrang pasaway ko na..di ko alam kung bakit ko pa ito tinutuloy. siguro kasi, ewan. freedom. masaya yung feeling na pwede kang magpakawala.

dba nga?masarap ang bawal.haha.ilang times ko na yan natype sa blogs ko?MASARAP ANG BAWAL. putek.

wasted.

2006-12-09T03:45:00.000-08:00

you know i drink.
you know i drink a lot.
you know i drink often.
you know that when i drink, everyone knows about it, except my parents.

i don't hide that fact from everyone.the fact that i drink.it's part of my image now.
but people still continue to surprise me.

this afternoon, at Area51, i was lying down on sis bea's gym bag, and covered in icks' jacket. matt enters and looks at me. i sit up, and he asks.

matt: ayos ka lang?
reg: oo naman... bkt?
matt: wala lang. mukha kang wasted.

what the freaking fuck.
okay, so i was dead tired, i was sleepy, i had my period. haha. or matt was just thinking on a different level.

reg: mukha ba kong uminom?
bea: oo.

oh well.haha.

uhurm.

2006-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

"this all was only wishful thinking." --cute without the e by takingbacksunday
"coz i'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions." --you're so last summer by takingbacksunday

wishful thinking.what the heck is it?well. it's uh.. wishful thinking.DUH. i think it's thinking of things that you want. that you wish will happen to you. for me, it's an illusion. a fantasy. a dream. it's only a wish, a fantasy, a dream. that's all it is, and was, and that's all it will ever be.

i am a wishful thinker. i am definitely a dreamer. and i'm not afraid of admitting that. the only problem with dreaming is..you get disappointed by what happens in real life. disappointment sucks.

but really, there's nothing wrong with dreaming. it's also a good thing, i believe. because we already have a vision of what we want.. and we can work to make it real.

"dream a better dream... then work to make it real." --Max from The 3D Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

the line from Cute Without the E can also mean "pinaasa lang ako." yeaah. read it over and over again.

"this all was only wishful thinking." = "wishful thinking lang pala." = "umaasa lang pala ako na mangyayari yung gusto ko."

okay..so i'm not really good in Math.sorry. oh and that "equation" there is only my opinion. i'm not forcing you to agree. i'm just uh.. telling you what i think of this subject.

wishful thinking is.. nakakapanghinayang. it feels good when you dream. it sucks when your dreams dont come true.

----------------

i just finished reading Rage of Angels by Sidney Sheldon (my fave author) and i fell in love with the character named Michael Moretti. he's actually the bad guy there but damn, he's hot. :-*

for the enth time

2006-09-04T07:03:00.000-07:00

i have created millions and billions and dozens and thousands of entries about CHANGE.

it's the most constant thing in this life. what happens if we don't change? if we don't change, that's a sign of not living, of not learning.

as we go through life, we experience stuff that mold us into the person we really are. as we grow up, we'll realize who we really are meant to be. that's why we change. we can't prevent change, we just have to adapt to it.

because like it or not, everything and everyone changes. and besides, before judging someone on changing, why not look at how much you've changed?

YES. i have changed. i have become more aggressive. i have become angrier. yet i have also learned to pretend. i have changed. and i don't regret it.

we all change. don't get mad at change. we'll continue changing, growing, learning.

and for the enth time: THE MOST CONSTANT THING IN THIS LIFE IS CHANGE.

woo.

2006-08-26T01:57:00.000-07:00

last night was amazing. disastrously amazing. and wrong. very wrong. but amazing.
we drank and drank and drank.
2 got drunk and one even puked.
but everyone pitched in to help..

i dunno.i was touched.

i drank 1 1/2 500ml bottle of Red Horse beer. woo. i felt so proud of myself.
but when i think of it.. drinking is wrong..
so i'm proud coz i did something wrong?

this morning, all the shows we watched had something to do with drinking. weeird.
yes.drinking is wrong.

masarap daw ang bawal.

beer helps make people happy.

it's wrong, and it makes me happy.

it's wrong.

but i like it.

can't help the way i feel.

leave it to the ipod

2006-07-29T22:54:00.000-07:00

RULES:
1.Put your music player on shuffle.
2.Press forward for each question.
3.Use the title as the answer to each question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING.
*got the question from kevin*

QUESTIONS:

1. What's YOUR theme song? Anticonformity by Krystal Meyers
"anticonformity..i don't try too hard to be.. i'm not what you think you see.." i luv this song and it may be true about me.

2. What's my LIFE's theme song? Timberwolves At New Jersey by Taking Back Sunday
"what will it take for you to admit you were wrong..?" yes..that's true.a lot of people are wrong.but they won't admit it.especially in this damn house.

3. A perfect summer song? Brooklyn is Burning by Head Automatica
lol burning..cguro kasi hot?at pag summer malamang mainit.

4. Ano ang pinaka-senti na kanta? Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day
yaaah right.senti ah?sabi mo eh. "in a land of make believe that don't believe in me."

5. What's the sexiest song I've ever had in my playlist? You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette
LOL!astig ah!galing pumili ng ipod ko! woo.

6. What song would apparently describe in terms of ***? C'mon Girl by Red Hot Chili Peppers
oh ew.. "everything inside of me is burning.." damn!bakt ba laging natugma?

7. The 'freakest' song of all - The Setting Sun by Switchfoot
really?i don't find it freaky.. "i've got a wound that doesn't heel..burning out again."

8. Eto nga. Ano pinakamadalas kong kinakanta sa banyo - Police Woman by Eraserheads
whatever.i don't even sing that!

9. Naging inspirasyon ko sa buhay? Anong kanta kaya yun? Tamagotchi Baby by Eraserheads
wow..tamagotchi..some inspiration.

10. Ano yung pinaka-nakakairitang song sa lahat!? Fuck You Aurora by Alkaline Trio
lol..it's NOT! i like that song! at bakit naman ako maglalagay ng nakakairitang song sa ipod ko?

11. Ang pinaka-nakakaindak na song? Everybody Wants Ya by S Club 7
anu bang ibig sabihin ng nakakaindak?

12. Ang pinaka-astigin na song na siguro anthem ng mga feeling rakista? Truth by Bamboo
ayos.wag na kasi mag-filing!

13. Pinaka-corny na kanta? When I Go Down by Relient K
it's not corny!i like that song..

14. What song actually brings me to childhood? Sugod by Sandwich
lol brings me to childhood?because of its sound?ewaaan.

15. Anong song ang dedicated para sa mga ex ko? He Wasn't by Avril Lavigne
well..tumugma nanaman.panu ba yan?!

16. Eh sa family? Which to Bury, Us or The Hatchet? by Relient K
hmm.in terms of grandparents, yep.i'd rather bury them.

17. Sa mga taga section mo last year? Perfect by Alanis Morissette
aw..i miss molave days..luv yah guys..

18. Best boring song? My Coco by Stellastarr*
really?lol

19. The sweetest thing ever in my IPOD? American Idiot by Green Day
what the fuck?sweeeet?

20. Anong song ang pwedeng ipamalit sa shabu? Yung nakaka-high? The Blues by Switchfoot
nyaaaks.kabaliktaran.

21. Ano sa tingin mo ang next hit ng blog ko? Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous by Good Charlotte
weh?lol.kakatuwa itong song na ito,ang tanga tanga.laging nakaka LSS (last song syndrome)

22. Anong song ang pampatulog? Hindi lang boring, nakakapanuyot pa ng utak? Alapaap by Eraserheads
ookaaaay.pampatulog?hinde tlaga eh.barberong ipod.

23. What song has a special place in my heart? Mercy Me by Alkaline Trio
yeaah i guess..it's one of my favorite songs.

24. Ano kayang song ang pedeng makapag-paiyak sa isang manhid na tulad ko? Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy
wow.tlga?ang weeeeird.

25. Anong song ang pedeng itugtog kapag namatay ako? Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional
nice..i love that song.pero ayokong yan ang theme song ng funeral ko.

26. Anong song ang nakakadagdag ng sex appeal? Conspiracy by Paramore
ay ewan.

27. Anong song ang highly suggested for hang-overs or sa beerhouse, o kaya pag lasing ako? The Fallen by Franz Ferdinand
kakabaliw ang song na ito!woo!

28. Ano ang most unforgettable na kanta para sakin? Mother May I by Coheed and Cambria
ewan.all of Coheed's songs are pretty much unforgettable eh.

29. Anong song ang idededicate ko sa mga kabarkada ko? A Day Late by Anberlin
sayang!sana ang song na ito ay tumapat dun sa question about sa ex.lol.anyway..cge..nagustuhan naman ito ng mga friends ko eh.

30. Heto, last. Ano ang kakantahin ko bago matulog? Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne
lol! i luv this song! as in super!hehe..halos kabisado ko ito eh!yay!stig.hehe.

expectations

2006-07-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

you thought it could be true.coz you felt it.you felt the connection, the magic..but you were afraid to say anything--afraid to assume.for it could all be fake.and one minute, it could be gone. then everyone started noticing.but you kept your feelings deep inside you. you hoped they were right about the special connection, but you kept your mouth shut. for you, noboy needed to know.

one day, he tells you something and everything falls apart.. do you believe in what he says? it's what he says.he says its her and not you.but your feelings tell you otherwise.and now you're broken.coz you know it's you, you feel it's you, but he says another name.

are your feelings wrong?or did he lie?did he lie just so he wouldn't have to tell you the truth?

trust

2006-07-08T04:47:00.000-07:00

trust is earned.

but somehow i find myself trusting too easily.i don't even let some people earn the trust.i automatically trust them.

which proves how stupid i am.

what if...

you trusted someone.he/she betrayed you.and you have no idea why.
until one day,you find out something that might be the reason why.
and that hypothesis? because he/she is jealous of you.
what a petty reason.IF that is the reason.

still.
what's wrong with him/her?
why is he/she doing this to me?

i'm such a stupid fucktard.

suhol

2006-06-20T03:50:00.000-07:00

i can't believe it.she changed over the summer.but we saw each other during the summer.she changed so fast.and she said something today that well.. stuck.

i've always been a person who respects opinions of others.whenever she says something i don't agree in, i let it go.

she said something like, a person is sometimes all good, and sometimes all bad.nuh uh.
i believe that a person has good and bad traits.but not all good and all bad.when he or she says something good, it doesn't mean she's not lying.

the good and bad traits of a person are always together--never apart.kaya madaming plastic, mdaming backstabbers.alam nila na masama ang ginagawa nila pero di sila tumitigil.marami ding nagkukunwari na mabait.o yan ha! good and bad together!

so she said, pag gumawa ka ng bad deeds, kelangan mo gumawa ng good deeds.i read something like that in Chicken Soup. sbi nung author its wrong..kasi.it's like you're trying to crawl back to God.you did something bad, so you do something good para mapa-walang bahala ung bad deeds mo.

it's called something like..

SUHOL.

sinusuhulan mo ang DIYOS.

PAKYU.

got this from quizilla.i think.

2006-05-11T03:10:00.000-07:00

they live in different worlds.or rather,different crowds. she was one of the popular ones. he was quiet, hung around in dark corners.she laughed with the crowd.he wrote poems.

two years ago they were really close.before she became popular and before he decided to hang around with the other quiet people.

this time.both older,more mature.and becoming close again.

will they end up together?

just a little fun you guys! thanks to CARS for the idea!

2006-05-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

i read the blog of
CARS and she tried doing a really fun thing in google and yahoo. for example, type "regina looks like.." and the results are extremely fun! so i did, along with names of my friends. have fun while reading this post! btw, i only picked out the ones i liked best. =)

A. REGINA
"regina looks like she's having none of it" - as in right now?whe.
"regina looks like an evil slut..but in a good way" --wtf?i do NOT!lol
"regina looks like she has a sore arm" --i do?i didn't notice it when i looked in the mirror.
"regina looks like she is being tortured." --hmm..maybe i do.
"regina looks like she just saw a clown." --and that looks like...?
"regina looks like Sachs." --who's Sachs?
"regina looks like she's in a lot of pain." -akala ko ba tortured na?
"regina looks like she's trying to blow a bubble." --well for your info, i really can't.
"this is what my cat regina looks like." --lolz!

B. ARYAN
"Aryan looks like Gauri thankfully." --eeeiii..aryan..who's Gauri?
"aryan looks like such a handsome young man!" --hey..aryan's a girl!
"Aryan, looks like Dawn but thinks like Mrs. Haight" --dunno any of them!
"aryan looks like tom cruise.." --really?!
"aryan looks like you!" -- o_O
"Aryan looks like you really enjoy your crack/heroine whatever u halucinate on ..." --aryan..BAD!
"Aryan - Looks like a respectable human being ..." --naks naman, apohl!
"Aryan looks like a decent movie" --at may movie ka na rin ngaun..

C.EUGENIA
"Eugenia looks like a natural" --malamang.di naman artificial si Eugs eh!
"Eugenia looks like a gypsy fortune-teller." --*crystal ball*
"Eugenia. Looks like Ive been eaten by a computer." --omg!hide!

D.SANDRA
"Sandra looks like she's so happy she could cry" --drama queen nga kasi!
"Sandra looks like heaven and its a great piece of intelligent escapism ..." --what's escapism?
"Sandra looks like a naughty brunette" --ROTFL
"sandra looks like a hamster." --sandra??
"Sandra looks like the Sole Survivor." --mmm..si sandra ba tlga i2??
"Sandra looks like she could jump outta the picture and kill me ..." --sounds like something sandra will really do..no!
"Sandra looks like a really cute girl ..." --tampo na ko sa yahoo!bkt maayos ung nalabas kay sandra?
"Sandra looks like me ..." --harharhar!
"Sandra looks like evil incarnate in front of a crowd" --nyahahaha!
"Sandra looks like a snowsuit kid" --whatev.

E.IRISH
"Irish looks like she wants to say something but gets distracted by a butterfly that floats past" --hmmm...
" Irish looks like he has just been sentenced to life in the pound" --lagot ako pag nabasa to ni irish..
"Irish looks like a schoolyard bully." -run!!!
"Irish Looks Like T-Shirts" --she does not!
"Irish Looks Like Sweatshirts" --mukhang damit..
"Irish, looks like a great recipe!!!" --waaaah...

F.IHSA CAMILLE (wala kcng results for ihsa eh.aw.)
"Camille looks like a foppish vampire" --sorry ihsa!blame it on the internet!
"Camille looks like a puppet that is not being played with" --naks naman!astig!
"Camille looks like Stephanie and Grace" --cnu i2ng mga i2?
"Camille looks like a peacock but, nonetheless, really good." --wow!
"Camille looks like she swallowed a canary" --did u?

G.MICO
"mico looks like a gorilla" --nyak!
"Mico looks like hot news" --hmm..is he?
"MICO looks like the most likely target ." --of what?
"Mico looks like a vintage keyboard" -anu ba yan,mimi?!

H. dapat kay OSHEAN i2!kaya lng no results available!aw..sorry osh!

I. GALE
"gale, looks like you had a great pool party" --yes!summer eh!
"Gale looks like a perfect beach babe." --woo!aus gale!
"Gale looks like him" --looks like who?
"Gale looks like somebody just killed her puppy." -aww..
"Gale looks like a natural grandmother" --gale..mag-asawa ka muna..hhe...joke!boboink!

J.RACHEL
"Rachel looks like Judy Finnigan" --who??
"Chel looks like she's got that medicated haze in her eyes." tsktsktsk..twinnie..
"Rachel looks like a fluffy pink cupcake.." --aw..lolz!
"Rachel looks like she’s just swallowed a matzo ball whole." -spit it out twin!
"Rachel looks like Uma Thurman." --i thought she looked like judy finnigan!
"Rachel looks like an elephant dancing and she gets decent critisim" --i'm dizzy..
"Rachel looks like a total sweetheart" --lmao!
"Rachel looks like a freak ..." --woo!
"Rachel looks like the cover of a Hallmark Christmas Card" --chrstmas tree?ahohoho..

lolz!that was fun!

war

2006-04-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

there's a silent war in this house..kind of exciting, actually. ^_^ no, really, it is.last night, i went downstairs to the last floor of this house.i was planning on searching for him or else wait up for him.i was with ate loi.. we heard footsteps coming from the top floor and we hid.but the owner of the footsteps found us.it was my lolo.so ate loi and i headed back to her room, where we had a good view of the front gate. the room's bathroom is also adjoined with lola mina's room. and the other room in the top floor is occupied by lolo and lola.all lights in the house were off.. but the lights in the three rooms were on.we were all waiting for him to come home.and pounce on each other.

what i was planning was.. just to see if he would climb the gate.if he does, i'll run down, open the gate for him and talk.lolo was planning on waiting for him too.lola mina, i think, was trying to eavesdrop on my conversation with ate loi through the bathroom.heehee.it was so fun.yet scary.

what happened?he didn't come home.lol and to think we stayed up the whole night.all the oldies and me and ate loi.

out of rage and out of love

2006-04-02T04:38:00.000-07:00

i'm not angry.i'm not happy.i'm sad.i'm confused.and i tried to run away today.too bad it didn't work out.too bad i couldn't run away forever.too bad i had to come back and face everything.btw, i'm planning on doing something drastic tonight.wish me luck.

history and my life..JUST dont mix!

2006-03-16T06:00:00.000-08:00

you got it. history and my life, just don't mix well together. they're like separate magnets that repel all the time! a fact is this: i hate social studies, i hate studying about the rise and decline of the roman culture. i mean, i'm gonna be a fashion designer. ugh. history will not have anything to do with that, thank you very much. and i'm glad about that.

an online friend is leaving the net soon.he says.i don't know for sure.no big deal, really if he leaves. i've gotten used that he doesn't go online anymore. what difference will it make if he just leaves? yeah. he better leave before i hit the shit out of him. hmp. just go to your freaking girl and wait for the baby to arrive.

woo.steam's out.i'm not mad anymore.

luv reg

i shouldn't get involved

2006-03-15T02:40:00.000-08:00

i shouldn't get involved with the problem.i'm not part of it.actually, maybe i do play a small part there..i mean, okay. let's say i have no part. i'm still freaking out about what she did. she shouldn't have told anybody what she suspected.and now a friend cried because of what she said.she cried for nothing!she cried for some reason that really didnt have anything to do with her.

come on.

well.the truth is bound to get out..that's what everyone says.but i really hope that this one will be solved once and for all.

and i really wished she didn't have to start the rumor.

reg

flirts and deaths

2006-03-08T04:02:00.000-08:00

i used to call someone that name.. i had no idea how it hurt.. actually.. now i do.. i've been called that name three or five times in my entire life.. i've also been called stupid, an asshole and sorts. but, oh well. my friend says everyone flirts at least once in a while. okwei.. besides.. forgive and forget.

our teacher died. well, techincally, not "our teacher" coz he never taught me. though he let me borrow his eraser once. that, i remember. i felt so numb. i didn't cry. does that mean i'm evil? coz i cry easily. maybe because, that person or his death didn't really have a big impact on my life. i'm sorry i had to say that. but he didn't touch my life like he touched others'.. maybe if i had known him better, i would have cried. but i didn't get to know him better. so i didn't cry.

luv reg

it took so long

2006-03-07T06:16:00.000-08:00

yep..took so long to write a new post..sorry..wasn't in the mood..
we're putting on Peter Pan..i'm a pirate..oh yeah..happiness..though my other friends wanted to be pirates too..

*sigh* she's so getting on my nerves. NO ARYAN, it's not you. and it's not the girl in MY BLOGDRIVE entry about the girl i despise..this one's different...okay, so she's in ARYAN's blog too.betterthanthou.okay, so what if she really IS better than us? i still don't like it being shoved in my face that i'm wrong. coz i'm not.

argh.i'm such a proud person.she's so betterthanthou. if she's so betterthanthou, then why does she make me feel so wrong and stupid and many more things? argh. i can't explain. i can't even understand what i'm writing..err.. typing.

luv reg

i saw her. don't ask me who she is.

2006-02-15T06:29:00.000-08:00

i saw a lot of weird stuff starting monday.
first of, i saw her cheat in SRA today. not that big a deal. well, maybe it was. coz she is the last person i would ever expect to cheat.well, i'm shrugging now. in this time, everybody cheats. in schoolwork, in life, in love, basically in everything.

second, i finally, finally tasted the buko pandan ZAGU. i don't like buko pandan. but i luvd the zagu!it was so unexpected!haha.unexpected..yea..like everything else that happened this week.

third, my blog is having troubles. graar. when oh when will i have a layout i am really happy with?rockelbi is on the 23rd. no money, want to watch, no permission. YET. i really really wanna see kamikazee and parokya ni edgar! urgh.

i was banned from a tagboard.haha.oh well, that's life. u can't always get in the places u want to go to. not that i actually WANT to go to her. i just want to tag, and tell her what i think. coz omg, she's so wrong.or maybe i'm wrong.

luv reg

another episode wherein changing strikes again

2006-02-08T03:44:00.000-08:00

she asked me if she was being a flirt. i said no. at least i don't think so. coz she's my friend and she's important to me. but i've been seeing the thing called "change" again. she's different lately. i can't blame her though.

but she's still a dear friend and i can't be angry at her.and i have a feeling i'll never be.good.

luv reg

the passion with the guitar and books

2006-02-07T02:42:00.000-08:00

the guitar..

it's my passion.there's something about it that makes me want to pick it up and play it.i never saw the passion right away.truth?i never had the urge to want to play the guitar.twas my sister who wanted to.but while our dad was teaching her,i followed too..and i began practicing right away.sis never practiced so until now, she can't play the thing. i do. i'm not the best. but i love it. i love the feel of the strings and i love hearing the sounds i can create.it's true.weird but true.i also like the guiatr because it inspires creativity in me.i tried writing songs this summer..songs about my thoughts..that i wanted other people to know..and whenever i'm so bored or so bummed out, i play the instrument.i've heard people say that playing is relaxing and it's the truth.it makes me forget about all the damn stuff.

haay.i'm glad i learned to play it.it's one thing that makes me so darn happy.

i just finished reading Deenie by Judy Blume.i think it's so wrong to..u know..just look at the physical appearance of people..okay..i know..'another cliche'.. another true cliche..it's the inside that matters.

luv reg

privacy???

2006-02-03T02:25:00.000-08:00

i felt like updating..just not in my main blog..since more people read it.it's okay for me for others to read this post..but since more people i know in real life read it..well..they could get the wrong idea.

i dislike her.i think it's the right word because i don't hate her.she's not doing anything to me but i can't help it.she's just THERE.and she does make me feel so uncomfortable and unsure.i hate the feeling.i hate it.okay, so maybe i annoy her.so what?she annoys me too.

i annoy her.can't help it.i wish she would see that at one point or another, everyone gets irritated at everyone.or something like that.sorree.can't explain.it's just the way i am, you see?and she can't change me.she can't make me change.i know i've said it before.i'm just uhm..just trying to persuade myself i guess..because i'm not so sure myself.maybe i could cut down on the noise and energy.i guess i'm so used to our section last year..it was so noisy.all the noisiest people were there.so my noise was just a whisper.

luv reg

i hate it when i cry

2006-01-31T01:07:00.000-08:00

shit.you think i'm so happy, but i'm not.it's just a show.some people think i don't have problems.fine.if that's what they want to think it's fine.tangina.hehe.sorry.

i curse to stop the crying..coz..i dunno..it helps me..i guess to focus more on being mad than being sad and pathetic.it's effective anyway.but i still hate it when i cry.i feel so..i dunno..i just hate it.

luv reg

i have every right to feel this way.. right?

2006-01-27T06:40:00.000-08:00

right?i can't be the one who always sacrifices for them!and it seems as if they don't even notice my sacrifices..all i'm doing for them.i used to be such a pleaser.i'll do anything they ask me.just so they'll be happy.but it's not making me happy.not to sound so selfish or bad, but isn't it wrong that i do all the pleasing and they do none?why did i have to be the pleaser?why am i like that?okay.so maybe they deserve to be pleased because they encountered such hardships.but..hello?call me selfish.i can't please all of them.well, okay. i can. but it's not fair!

luv reg

exams suck

2006-01-26T03:35:00.000-08:00

i wasn't always such a sucker in school.i have no idea why i started getting these low, low scores.in elementary, i had these uber cool scores.then i started high school.

okay, so that's where the cursing, loitering, bad girl started.and that's where the bad grades started.look.. i try, okay? and having grandparents that tell you you were smarter before or thye keep wondering out loud where my brain has gone to doesn't HELP at all!i'm trying!i really am!can't they see it?can't they just feel it?

it doesn't mean that if my grades suck, i suck too.well..okay.so maybe i suck but grades don't measure what we really learn.fine, it's a cliche but i strongly believe in it.

xregx

the problem with copycats

2006-01-24T23:31:00.000-08:00

my twin is having trouble with a "fag".. it's bad when someone copies you..but i think it's even worse when she isn't actually copying you..but you started doing something a long time even before she does..

something happened like that..and i think i'm so conceited..wait.i'm so selfish!i'm the first to admit..i'm a selfish whore!i have no right to "patent" something but i'm so "maarte" and sensitive.i can't help it if i feel that way..even though i know i sound so completely stupid and shitty, it's just the way it is.

reg

soo..

2006-01-24T01:36:00.000-08:00

all right..i really am starting to hate her!!!okay..you don't know her.we-ell..people at school know her.but i don't think they know that i know her..lol..but i HATE her!!! i really DO! she's such a flirt!a flirt a flirt a flirt! she thinks she's so pretty..she thinks she's the most gorgeous girl there ever was..but she's wrong!i hate her so much!!!sory for penting up the anger.this blog is mainly for surveys..coz i'm addicted to surveys.

better entry next time.swear.

xregx

1st ever!

2006-01-24T01:00:00.000-08:00

whoa..i finally have a blogspot blog!lol